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  • Writer's picturefjilloldham

And just like's a new year

Updated: Feb 5, 2019

I remember going through the steps in July to get the business license for our new office for SRCC. Then BAM! Just like that it was October. Clients were coming at a steady pace and seemed to be growing from the experience. Then all of a sudden it was Christmas.

Time just flies by. And now it's 2019.

So what will be different for 2019 for South River Counseling & Consulting, LLC? What will be different for us as individuals? What will be different for you?

I took a course about working with trauma clients through hypnosis and truly enjoyed the content and learned quite a bit more about the brain. During the course, one of the presenters told a story about a client who was fretting about having to do presentation to a large group. As she was describing the situation and how anxious her client felt, I could feel that knot in my stomach...just like it was me in that situation! She said ONE thing during that discourse that caught my ear and made me reconsider my approach to situations in my personal life and my work. She said to the client (of course this is boiled down to the essential meaning): it's not about you. I had to think about that. If it's not about that guy in her story then who is it about? It's about his audience.

So when I'm worried about having a hard conversation with my child, or client I need to re-frame the situation because it's not about me. What is it really about? It's about information that they need. It's about them and their well-being. What about when you are anxious about talking to your boss or spouse or parent? I have good news----it's not about you.

I need that statement cross-stitched on a couch pillow. I want it on a screen-printed poster with lovely colors.

It's not about you.

It's not an easy concept. I did have to hike many miles to really understand the relief this understanding could provide for me and my clients.

Let it roam around in your brain and see what it means to you. For me it made positivity easier.

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